


roll to consummate your marriage

by GayFrankensteinsMonster



Series: after the bureau, everything's fine [3]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Cooking, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Wedding Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 08:13:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9376061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayFrankensteinsMonster/pseuds/GayFrankensteinsMonster
Summary: Critical miss: You challenge a man to a fiddling contest, insult your husband, and end up baking cookies until three A.M.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is the sequel to roll to say your vows, another terrible wedding fic that i wrote. this one was gonna be porn but then i realized that porn is hard and i'll write more eventually, but not tonight.  
> fuck yea. i'm so tired

It had been a long night.

The party had gotten progressively rowdier. More alcohol had been brought out, Angus’ husband took their baby home, and the tables had been moved to clear out something of a dance floor. And good gods above and upon the celestial plane, Taako had danced with everyone. Ren had swooped him around giddily. Avi tried to teach him some complicated fast two step (both of them had failed hideously, Taako due to his two left feet and Avi due to his fits of laughter at Taako’s two left feet). Johan had sweaty palms and turned red to the tips of his ears after Taako gave him a teasing peck on the cheek. Merle showed off something with a lot of hand-motions and hip-swaying as Taako followed along hopelessly. Killian and Carey didn’t dance, they played an elaborate game of keep-away passing Taako between the two of them. Angus counted his waltz steps under his breath. Magnus wept and held Taako in a bear hug as they swayed, face pressed into his hair.

And then Kravitz, his husband, got the final dance of the evening. And it was evening, this whole fiasco had gone on for hours. The both of them were bubbly and laughing, and Kravitz had undone his tie and looped it around his head like a hairband. It was silly. This entire night was silly. Kravitz’s hands were never in the same place for long, moving from his shoulders to his hips to the sides of his face. It was simple, it wasn't performative, it came naturally. They lost track of time and everyone excused themselves one by one. It went unnoticed as music stopped playing, people cleared out, were shaken awake from where they fell asleep. The house that Taako and Magnus lived in had spare rooms upon spare rooms, where some of the guests decided to take up residence in, apparently. The evening ended. Avi and Johan holed up and locked the guest room door, Killian carried Carey under her arm back home, Angus dashed off when he realized how late it was getting, Merle dozed off in the hammock outside.

Magnus attended to everyone before giving Taako and his husband a final bone-crushing hug, telling them not to stay up too late. Jeez. Embarrassing. He retired to his workshop, probably going to chat with Julia with that big old magic orb. Kravitz told him to have a good night’s rest. And then he yawned loudly, stretching and pressing his hands against his back.

“Well, that went about as expected.”

“Now, tell me, did you think you were going to have a violin-off at your own wedding after eating your own ring?”

“Johan challenged me and I was not going to back down. I won, fair and square.”

Taako laughed, slipping his hands around Kravitz’s waist. As he spoke, he punctuated his words with little kisses up the side of Kravitz’s neck.

“I'm sure you did.” A kiss. “And it would please me,” And another, _“Greatly,”_ Another, “If you would take me in your beautiful soft arms,” Another kiss, “And bake with me.”

Kravitz blinked, clearing his throat.

“What, you don't want to- To, uh. Consummate this whole affair?”

“You can do all the consummating you want to me later, homeboy, fact of the matter is we got too many people in this house for me to get down and dirty. That's a fun thing you'll learn about me, Taako- Totally not an exhibitionist.”

And Kravitz snorted, pulling away from Taako and nodding.

“That's fair, that's fair. Um, hmm.” He ran a hand through his hair, blowing air through his lips in puffs to make a farting noise. “Chocolate chip cookies any good?”

“Hell yeah, let's get down and dirty on a batch of those.”

The kitchen was inviting and cozy. Maybe a little too cozy, warm might be the adjective Taako would use. He was happy to shed layer after layer of finely woven elven clothing, piling it up on the kitchen table. He'd deal with that at breakfast, probably. Okay, he wouldn't deal with it at breakfast. He'd deal with it never. That sounded fair. He was stripped down to his underskirt and looped his hair into a bun, just making sure he was hygienic and all.

“Most people don’t cook topless.” Kravitz pointed out, popping a handful of chocolate chips in his mouth, “And it seems a little silly to tie your hair back if you’re just going to be- Flopping out like that.”

“Cool, but my tits aren’t going to fall into the cookie dough. My hair might. Check and mate, dipshit.”

“Fair point.”

Taako rolled his shoulders and set quickly to mixing up the cookie dough, occasionally slapping Kravitz’s sneaky hands away from picking out globs out of the bowl. It became something of a little battle, Kravitz trying to steal food and Taako quickly whisking the bowl out of his reach. Taako did end up distracted when Kravitz managed to wind his arms around Taako’s waist and pin him up against the counter, murmuring quiet nonsense against Taako’s lips. Taako’s ears flicked and he leaned in to close the gap-

And Kravitz tugged the bowl of cookie dough from his grasp, poking a smudge of dough into Taako’s mouth.

“How did you survive in the bureau if all it takes to distract you is a stunningly handsome older man in a nice suit?”

Taako froze, wrinkled his nose, and grabbed Kravitz by the front of his shirt to drag him into a proper kiss this time. He flailed a bit, teeth clicking and noses bumping as they kissed. It took all of two seconds before they settled into a rhythm, both of them smiling. One of Kravitz’s hands slid over Taako’s hip, thumb tracing over the clasp keeping it slung on his body. Taako broke away, licking his lips.

“Hey, grossboy.”

“Mm, yes, Taako?”

“Please don’t ever call yourself an older man.”

“I mean, technically-”

“Suck my dick, man, I’m the older man here.”

“I’ve been eating chocolate, I don’t think you want-”

“Figure of speech, homie. Don’t you be cute with me.”

Kravitz wiggled his eyebrows, face splitting in a broad grin. Taako rolled his eyes and slapped his husband playfully on the chest, worming his way free to finish with the cookie dough and pop it onto trays. Definitely a couple cookies short of the three dozen the recipe was supposed to yield. Taako counted the cookies quickly, turning to check the oven temperature. Seemed about right. And he turned back, doing another count-

Kravitz had his thumb pressed between his lips, and looked over at Taako innocently.

“I swear,” And he swallowed, holding his hand over his mouth, “I’ll stop eating your cooking when it stops being perfect.”

“You’re lucky you’re already dead, dude, eating my cooking has proven fatal in the past.”

Taako let that one hang in the air, testing how he felt after saying it. There was the initial wave of discomfort, but it passed and didn’t settle in his gut like a lump of ice. He stuck the cookie sheets in the oven, bumping the door shut with his hip and turning the timer on.

“Hey, Taako?”

“Yeah man.”

“I’m glad we did this.”

Taako hummed, ears twitching upwards as he leaned on the counter next to Kravitz.

“Me too.”


End file.
